Sunday, 3 April 2011

Pro-Chav or Pro-Choice

I haven't done a blog in ages as I've been working on some other things which I hope will be very fruitful, very soon!

I've decided to stick to what I do best, ranting, moaning, trivialising, call it what you like but I'm somewhat of a distinction student at it! Today I have chosen to express my views on the fashion of a certain contemporary subculture; 'chavs', or 'chavettes' to be more specific. Sometimes I do say thanks to capital H.I.M and feel blessed I wasn't born a loose woman with aspirations of looking fake baked and vjazzled. Here is my low-down (or run-down) of my top 4 pet hates when it comes to people who look like they have just stepped off of the Jeremy Kyle tour bus;

1) The Fake Ugg Boot: Now, please note, I have stated the fake Ugg boot because in theory Uggs boots are very practical for when you are in below-freezing conditions and need to protect your tootsies from frostbite. Wearing them whilst going shopping with your similarly W.A.G wannabe mother? You barely get away with it. But to were something that looks like you have literally killed, gutted and skinned a walrus in the comfort of your own kitchen? A definite no no, I know they are comfortable but they are practical footwear for impractical terrain, not tailored fitted footwear. If you are still tempted to purchase a pair of these furry feet warmers I would warn against buying a pair from Shoe Zone or Priceless Shoes at all costs, even the cost of £2.50 that you are paying for them. I thought it was only pirates with peg-legs that walk at funny angles...

2) The All-in-One Sleep Suit: Calling all mature teenagers and adults? Are you an extra from a sci-fi or a warped Mother Care worker? No? You're not? Then why are you wearing something that looks like it designed to contain the criminally insane! I have seen so many girls, if you can describe them with a gender label, flaunting their taunt behinds through my local high street, wearing a 'onesie'? When did PJs stand for Proud Joke?! If I were a heterosexual male and I saw my female concubine wearing this just before we engaged in intercourse I probably would projectile vomit! Do you want that ladies?!

3) The Juicy Velour Tracksuit: Why, just why? Word of advice: Don't wear your 'expensive' gym clothes when you are around civilised members of society. If there are any?

4) Paul's Boutique: When did animal print EVER go with massive fuzzy pom poms and a patent stars? Evidently, if the bulk on the teenage population is to be believed, I could ask 'Paul's Boutique' for a definite answer. After searching their website, I can see nothing of substance apart from fashion that I have yet to see perched on the arm of scantily clad girls. I cannot express my hatred towards who ever put this atrocious mess of a company on the British High Street. From what I can see, the company aims to take classic, if not 'rinsed', accessories and clothing that have never really offended anyone in their poor little lives and transform them into abominations! I hear this all the time "I really like them!", "They are fun!", "They aren't all bad". Seriously, if you want to spend upwards of £50 on a bag do you really want to waste the money on something that will be considered a fashion faux pas in 2 years! Chuck them away and take a trip to your nearest shopping centre. The cheap faux leather is easily recycled I'm sure...

and finally, someone every girl should aspire to be, her message is so potent and evocative...


I just want people to know that I feel fashion and clothing is a choice and respect anyone who picks something from a rail because they genuinely like it, but you will not get a shred of respect for dressing like a gypsy queen or strutting down the high street appearing as if you have just been for a long job on a hot day. It's not nice, I'm watching you and I'm judging you!


  1. So like... where do we buy the all-in-one sleepsuits? They are cool! :D

  2. So lovely Pauls boutique bags. many girls love this cute bag