Friday, 15 April 2011

Gay fashion, or the lack of it!

Disclaimer: This post is aimed at a select group of individuals of males that should be ashamed to call themselves 'homosexuals' and grace the arms of another man, or men if you're into that sort of thing.

Right, I just want to start before I type with my tenacious talons I just want to put it out there and say that if any of this relates to you, then don't get offended. It's just my observations, and we are all entitled to our opinions, which can neither be proved or disproved.

I wanted to put into words my displeasure and disappointment when I see the disgraceful outfits worn by some of my brethren. I think it's wrong to focus on a specific sexuality, if there is one, and then criticise their fashion sense... but in this instance I will make an almighty exception. Here are my top three faggot fashion faux pas's:

The button-up casual tee.
First of my three most hated fashion miscarriages is the button-up tee, available in a very comprehensive range of very tasteful colour combinations. Why pick on such a harmless and generic piece of clothing I hear you say? Well, I protest. If you are going to purchase a basic white or staple colour tee, why would you opt for such a vile creation? To be honest, I often march into Topman and feel my inner arsonist compelling me to take a naked flame to the rail on which these hang. The tee featured above is only just the beginning, possibly the worst I have seen is a neon yellow with a light blue neckline. I was in a vegetated state for months afterwards.

The khaki combat trousers.
Well, most of us has been told, or forced to learn, that khaki was indeed one of the 'on-trend' colours for our passing autumn/winter. Granted, the earthy green tones look rather chic when engulfing a pair of slender fitted leather gloves or a fur lined duffel coat. It does not, however, complement a pair of tired, baggy and dirty combat trousers. To be fair, combat trousers are very fit for purpose, if you are a paint/decorator or you work with animals! Of course, these beautiful failures can also be accessorised with, an equally as fashion-forward, silver bike chain or even a few badges if you really want to embarrass yourself!
The rainbow flag accessories.
I have saved the best, or the worst to be more accurate, until last. I love being a gay, well, I love being able to express myself without being told to man up or live up to some stupid expectations. It's okay to show 'how proud you are' or being gay. Whoever invented the concept of the rainbow flag representing gay pride needs to answer for alot. Rainbow tongue bars, wrist bands, earrings, t-shirts, laces, hats, the list is endless. You have just spent the best part of an hour putting together an outfit you intend to pull a beautiful member of the same sex with, oh I know, let's put a load of neon colours, which don't match, with it! The result is truly horrific. DOWN WITH PRIDE.

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