Gay fashion, or the lack of it!

Disclaimer: This post is aimed at a select group of individuals of males that should be ashamed to call themselves 'homosexuals' and grace the arms of another man, or men if you're into that sort of thing.

Right, I just want to start before I type with my tenacious talons I just want to put it out there and say that if any of this relates to you, then don't get offended. It's just my observations, and we are all entitled to our opinions, which can neither be proved or disproved.

I wanted to put into words my displeasure and disappointment when I see the disgraceful outfits worn by some of my brethren. I think it's wrong to focus on a specific sexuality, if there is one, and then criticise their fashion sense... but in this instance I will make an almighty exception. Here are my top three faggot fashion faux pas's:

The button-up casual tee.

First of my three most hated fashion miscarriages is the button-up tee, available in a very comprehensive range of very tasteful colour combinations. Why pick on such a harmless and generic piece of clothing I hear you say? Well, I protest. If you are going to purchase a basic white or staple colour tee, why would you opt for such a vile creation? To be honest, I often march into Topman and feel my inner arsonist compelling me to take a naked flame to the rail on which these hang. The tee featured above is only just the beginning, possibly the worst I have seen is a neon yellow with a light blue neckline. I was in a vegetated state for months afterwards.

The khaki combat trousers.

Well, most of us has been told, or forced to learn, that khaki was indeed one of the 'on-trend' colours for our passing autumn/winter. Granted, the earthy green tones look rather chic when engulfing a pair of slender fitted leather gloves or a fur lined duffel coat. It does not, however, complement a pair of tired, baggy and dirty combat trousers. To be fair, combat trousers are very fit for purpose, if you are a paint/decorator or you work with animals! Of course, these beautiful failures can also be accessorised with, an equally as fashion-forward, silver bike chain or even a few badges if you really want to embarrass yourself!

The rainbow flag accessories.

I have saved the best, or the worst to be more accurate, until last. I love being a gay, well, I love being able to express myself without being told to man up or live up to some stupid expectations. It's okay to show 'how proud you are' or being gay. Whoever invented the concept of the rainbow flag representing gay pride needs to answer for alot. Rainbow tongue bars, wrist bands, earrings, t-shirts, laces, hats, the list is endless. You have just spent the best part of an hour putting together an outfit you intend to pull a beautiful member of the same sex with, oh I know, let's put a load of neon colours, which don't match, with it! The result is truly horrific. DOWN WITH PRIDE.

Pro-Chav or Pro-Choice

I haven't done a blog in ages as I've been working on some other things which I hope will be very fruitful, very soon!

I've decided to stick to what I do best, ranting, moaning, trivialising, call it what you like but I'm somewhat of a distinction student at it! Today I have chosen to express my views on the fashion of a certain contemporary subculture; 'chavs', or 'chavettes' to be more specific. Sometimes I do say thanks to capital H.I.M and feel blessed I wasn't born a loose woman with aspirations of looking fake baked and vjazzled. Here is my low-down (or run-down) of my top 4 pet hates when it comes to people who look like they have just stepped off of the Jeremy Kyle tour bus;

1) The Fake Ugg Boot: Now, please note, I have stated the fake Ugg boot because in theory Uggs boots are very practical for when you are in below-freezing conditions and need to protect your tootsies from frostbite. Wearing them whilst going shopping with your similarly W.A.G wannabe mother? You barely get away with it. But to were something that looks like you have literally killed, gutted and skinned a walrus in the comfort of your own kitchen? A definite no no, I know they are comfortable but they are practical footwear for impractical terrain, not tailored fitted footwear. If you are still tempted to purchase a pair of these furry feet warmers I would warn against buying a pair from Shoe Zone or Priceless Shoes at all costs, even the cost of £2.50 that you are paying for them. I thought it was only pirates with peg-legs that walk at funny angles...

2) The All-in-One Sleep Suit: Calling all mature teenagers and adults? Are you an extra from a sci-fi or a warped Mother Care worker? No? You're not? Then why are you wearing something that looks like it designed to contain the criminally insane! I have seen so many girls, if you can describe them with a gender label, flaunting their taunt behinds through my local high street, wearing a 'onesie'? When did PJs stand for Proud Joke?! If I were a heterosexual male and I saw my female concubine wearing this just before we engaged in intercourse I probably would projectile vomit! Do you want that ladies?!

3) The Juicy Velour Tracksuit: Why, just why? Word of advice: Don't wear your 'expensive' gym clothes when you are around civilised members of society. If there are any?

4) Paul's Boutique: When did animal print EVER go with massive fuzzy pom poms and a patent stars? Evidently, if the bulk on the teenage population is to be believed, I could ask 'Paul's Boutique' for a definite answer. After searching their website, I can see nothing of substance apart from fashion that I have yet to see perched on the arm of scantily clad girls. I cannot express my hatred towards who ever put this atrocious mess of a company on the British High Street. From what I can see, the company aims to take classic, if not 'rinsed', accessories and clothing that have never really offended anyone in their poor little lives and transform them into abominations! I hear this all the time "I really like them!", "They are fun!", "They aren't all bad". Seriously, if you want to spend upwards of £50 on a bag do you really want to waste the money on something that will be considered a fashion faux pas in 2 years! Chuck them away and take a trip to your nearest shopping centre. The cheap faux leather is easily recycled I'm sure...

and finally, someone every girl should aspire to be, her message is so potent and evocative...

"THIS IS MY LIFE!"

I just want people to know that I feel fashion and clothing is a choice and respect anyone who picks something from a rail because they genuinely like it, but you will not get a shred of respect for dressing like a gypsy queen or strutting down the high street appearing as if you have just been for a long job on a hot day. It's not nice, I'm watching you and I'm judging you!

Quick Update

I just wanted to give a quick update; I am currently busy getting all my coursework and documentation finished for my current project and am also working on another on-line-based project so I have been unable to find time to blog any of my thoughts. I shall, however, be posting again at the weekend. 

I'll leave you with my favourite fashion-based ad of 2009!

Update; Espadrilles

I am forever going to be known as 'the espadrille boy' but I just wanted to do a quick update now that my new summer-specific footwear have arrived from the on-line fashion retailer, ASOS.

Here are the monstrosities after one wear, granted I do work down a coal mine and have particularly dodgy balance! I do like the general aesthetic but I think I would have a more comfortable fit if I wrapped a pillow case around my foot or better still wore a form of sock! I'd advise people to perhaps opt for a more expensive, higher quality style of espadrille such as TOMS. All that's left to do is to destroy these with a glue gun and a over-active imagination!

SEE Fashion Promo Project

As part of my current promotional project at college I have been experimenting with imagery, recycled garments and brand identity to produce numerous materials to publicise SEE Fashion. SEE fashion is an organisation set up to promote the reuse of recyclable materials and elements within the fashion industry and is currently working in conduction with my college, South Essex College. Here are a couple of early designs I have produced; a website and two advertisements intended for hand-out or magazine submission. As you can see, I have used the photographic images I obtained in a photo shoot earlier this month.

Advertisement #1

Advertisement #2

Website Design